I am a selfish bitch.

And let me tell you why.

I refuse to live my life in half-measures.
I refuse to have a 9 to 5 job that bores the shit out of me.
I refuse to look at the movement of time
while waiting for something to happen in my life
and settle for the easy way out.

I want meaning in my life.
I want to see the bigger picture.

I believe with all my heart that the biggest loss of humanity
is not using its intellect to its full potential
and wastes intelligence sitting in front of the TV
or running around for a ‘better discount’.

The human brain is the most complex thing in the known universe
there is no limit to what we can truly achieve.
We can do better than this!

I want to make a change
I want,
when I’ll be old and senile and won’t remember any of this,
to have left something behind that is bigger than me.

I only have a short amount of time to live on this planet, in this social structure,
be aware of what is happening
have the power to influence change
and I won’t let this slip through
just because I want to sleep in late.

I am not afraid of overworking myself
of burnout or sleepless nights
if my work can bring change to this malfunctioning system
that oppresses the poor and empowers the wealthy.

I want to change patterns of thinking
I want to challenge and be challenged
and I refuse to accept the status quo of  ‘It is what it is’.

Nothing is what it is, it is what we make it.

I’ve lived long enough under the shadows of
hopelessness and powerlessness
never to succumb to this narrative again.

I refuse to cut parts of myself out
just to fit in a deformed rule of law
instead of trying to change that to fit my values,
my view of what is worth fighting for.

But the most frustrating part is that I cannot do it alone
and not only I have to fight
prejudice, discrimination, racism, bigotry, patriarchy,
petty selfish interests, comfort, routine,
‘What’s in it for me?’
or
‘It cannot be done.’
but I also have to fight the people that say they are willing to help
and cannot actually commit to a goal.

Because in the end, the only thing that will matter
is if you’ve lived based on your values.
if you were true to yourself.

And if staying true to what drives me makes me a selfish bitch
then so be it.