Men will be men

I don’t remember exactly what I said
but I did use the word dry
when describing a communication strategy
designed to target multiple countries and,
hopefully, make a European impact.

Nothing to add there, the meeting went further
but right before the end
one of the directors insists to close with a final remark for me.
He says:
Raluca, I know that this proposal is dry
but you are the creative
you can find ways to lube it
so it can penetrate people’s minds.

I sat there in horror. Stunned,
anticipating his every syllable
in slow-mo,
with all the fine wordplay and layers of meaning,
feeling the tension build in my gut,
my cheeks burning with anger.

And for a split second I felt like
one of those office-working-women in the ‘50s
before the Civil Rights Act was even a thing.

I didn’t say anything.
Maybe I should have
but I couldn’t – I froze.
All I wanted to do was punch that guy’s arrogant look
through the webcam.

Afterward,
when I could still hear his words echoing in my brain
I told myself:
Whatever, get over it
men will be men.

Just to wake up that same night at 4 AM
and start crying all of a sudden.
Not because of what he told me – I heard worse
but because he was able to say it
without any fucking repercussions
in front of 50 people
none of them flinching-an-inch or batting-an-eye.

This middle-aged-upper-middle-class-man
educated at Oxford
fluent in 3 languages;
You might picture him as a white, but nope,
he is brown – not that it matters –
when it comes to spitting cheap sexism
towards women they find threatening
all men will be men.
That why it’s still called ‘a patriarchy’.